Predicting Marital Success

Mar 2020, 04:14
Marital Success or failure cannot be absolutely predicted. However, sufficient progress has been made in research in the field of marriage and family life that one can be reasonably sure about his proposed marriage. Strength and weakness can be detected at the outset and evaluated if the couple is willing to take time for study, testing, and counseling. The following material will help you make a start in discovering important matters concerning your marriage. I. WHY PEOPLE MARRY (Please circle the number that best describes your feelings in each) 1 – Important 2 – Rather Important 3 – Of Little Importance 4 – Not a Consideration 1 2 3 4 a) The Need for Companionship. After one has left his family he feels the need of establishing a home of his own in which there will be sharing of thought, play, work, and relationships of love. 1 2 3 4 b) Home Life and Children. One wants a home in which children will be born and reared, and where a community of love can be established. 1 2 3 4 c) Economic Reasons. A girl may want financial security in life and being married will help her attain this. A man is more desirable to an employer and may be advanced more rapidly if he is married. 1 2 3 4 d) Social Status. Married life increases one's social status in the community and makes him more acceptable. 1 2 3 4 e) Escape. Some marry to escape an unhappy situation: in home life; an unfortunate romance, a failure in school, a failure in a job, etc. 1 2 3 4 f) Social Expectancy. There may be a feeling that single life is not socially acceptable in your community. Parents may want you to be married. 1 2 3 4 g) Conquest and Achievement. The prospective mate is desired by many others and getting him or her is quite a feather in one's cap. 1 2 3 4 h) Physical Attraction. 1 2 3 4 i) Infatuation. II. AREAS THAT MAINLY AFFECT MARITAL HAPPINESS (Please answer YES or NO in the following blanks and make whatever notes you care to in the margin) A. Background and Home Life: _____1. Are your cultural backgrounds the same or similar? _____2. Were your parents happily married? _____3. Were your parents kind and understanding, but consistent in discipline, and firm but not overly strict or severe? _____4. Was your childhood happy? _____5. Was it free from conflict with father and mother? _____6. Do your parents think it is a mature love and approve of your upcoming marriage? B. Personality: _____1. Is your disposition one of happiness? _____2. Are you emotionally as well as physically mature? _____3. Do you have a capacity for love? _____4. Are there qualities that make you easy to love? _____5. Do people like you and have you made many friends? _____6. Do your personalities blend rather than clash? C. Educational and Cultural Level and Mental Capacity: _____1. Are you reasonably close together in amount of education? _____2. Do you think and talk about the same things? _____3. Are you somewhere near the same level of mental ability? _____4. Do you have many major interests in common? _____5. Do you enjoy doing a great variety of things together? D. Sex Education and Attitude: _____1. Did your parents teach sex frankly and naturally? _____2. Is there a wholesome attitude towards sex, free from fear, disgust, or aversion? _____3. Have you read good books on sex education? _____4. Have you had a normal development of sexual maturity? E. Understanding of and preparation for marriage: _____1. Have you attended a course in marriage and the family? _____2. Has your background been a good example for your marriage and home? _____3. Have you read a good book on preparing for marriage? _____4. Will there be counseling with a doctor and a physical examination before marriage? F. Ideals about Home Life: _____1. Is the establishment of a home that will be a community of love and creative living of greatest importance to you? _____2. Is there a desire for children? _____3. Do you enjoy working around the home to make it more attractive and enjoyable? _____4. Will you work hard to bring economic security to the family? _____5. Is there agreement about family planning? _____6. Can you accept the standard of living which you are likely to have? G. Religious Faith and Practice: _____1. Have you had religious training in Sunday School? _____2. Is your church attendance regular? _____3. Do you have real religious interest? _____4. Do you have a deep religious faith that will sustain you in times of difficulty or trouble? _____5. Do you possess qualities of responsibility, honesty, loyalty, trust- worthiness, high ideals? _____6. Are you appreciative rather than critical, ready to forgive and not hold grudges, and more eager to give happiness than to seek it in a selfish spirit?

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