Predicting Marital Success #3

Love is one of the key concepts in marriage. However, this term carries with it several ideas or understandings. The Greeks had different words to denote these ideas. They made distinctions between: (1) Love of family members, (2) Physical attraction, (3) Close friendships, and (4) The highest type of love which the New Testament attributes to God and His love for lost mankind. The following is an attempt to help evaluate the type of love you have for one another. I. A LOOK AT LOVE IN MARRIAGE (Please circle the number that best describes your feeling) 1 – Definitely yes. 2 – I believe so. 3 – Not sure. 4 – Probably not. 5 – Definitely no. 1 2 3 4 5 a) Do you find your love motivating you to make your loved one happy rather than leading you to seek your own happiness and satisfaction? 1 2 3 4 5 b) Do you think of all the things you are planning in terms of "we" rather than just what you want? Do you feel you want to marry for "partnership?" 1 2 3 4 5 c) Do you feel restful and at ease when you are together rather than being under a strain? 1 2 3 4 5 d) Can you talk together for hours about all sorts of things without getting bored? 1 2 3 4 5 e) Is there a sense of satisfaction in just knowing the other one is close by even though you may not be entertaining each other? 1 2 3 4 5 f) Do you enjoy working together on a common project? 1 2 3 4 5 g) Can you get a real sense of satisfaction out of discussing, even arguing, about something on which you differ? 1 2 3 4 5 h) When you are in the company of someone of the opposite sex, do you tend to remember the person you say you love, and feel a sense of nearness to him (her)? 1 2 3 4 5 i) Is there a strong physical attraction to the loved one? 1 2 3 4 5 j) Do you admire the person for what (he, she) is and what has been accomplished in life? 1 2 3 4 5 k) Are you proud to be seen with (him, her) in public and by your friends or relatives? 1 2 3 4 5 l) Do you enjoy being together even when you are not expressing love in a physical way? 1 2 3 4 5 m) Do you believe your love could weather the storms of financial distress, sickness and serious misunderstanding? 1 2 3 4 5 n) Do you share together devotion to common causes, goals and religious beliefs? 1 2 3 4 5 o) Is (he, she) eager to tell you the experiences of the day and to get your opinion on (his, her) plans and problems? 1 2 3 4 5 p) Is (he, she) always striving to put you in a favorable light when you are out among friends? Does (he, she) get a kick out of "showing you off?" 1 2 3 4 5 q) Has your love grown gradually to its present state? 1 2 3 4 5 r) Is there a certain aspect of your love for this other person which is beyond your ability to describe or completely understand? 1 2 3 4 5 s) Do you feel the person you love will meet your needs twenty-five years from now as much as or more than now? In other words, will your love stand the test of time? 1 2 3 4 5 t) Do you see in this person the qualities you want in your children? 1 2 3 4 5 u) Do you love each other with equal intensity and are you sure your love is not one-sided? 1 2 3 4 5 v) Is your love for the other person essentially the same as the other person's love for you? (No feeling that it is of a very different sort?) 1 2 3 4 5 w) Is your present love more satisfying than any feeling you have had before in a relationship with the opposite sex? 1 2 3 4 5 x) Is your love for the other person unselfish and free from the idea that you may be using (him, her) in a selfish way? 1 2 3 4 5 y) When you are with the other person, do you experience feelings of elation, energy, completeness, fulfillment? Does your relationship make you a better person? 1 2 3 4 5 z) Are there times when in the presence of the other person you feel reverent as if you were in the presence of something sacred, something to which you want to give yourself, devote yourself, cherish and protect always?